YOU

 

Because it doesn’t matter what progresses,

 

a single word of yours will break me.

 

Always.

 

As if it happened for the first time, 

 

the impact, broken pieces and me rebuilding…

 

I keep shattering.

 

I’m fuckin’ old by now, so it becomes harder.

 

I have yet to mature a single day since we met.

 

We are NOT cute, nor good, nor civil together.

 

That’s pathetic,  even by my standards. I’ll say…

 

of all the men who have mistreated me,

YOU, YOU were always the quietest, so passive…

 

Yet YOU have been living in my head and whispering hostilities to my kidneys.

 

YOU have been killing me for an eternity, sitting there all quiet.

 

Your silences are a fist. Hitting my throat.

 

Loads YOU shoot right in my trachea.

 

Of all the men who have mistreated me,

Spitters are quitters, and I love to swallow.

 

YOU, who didn’t lay as much as a finger on me, have punched me the hardest.

 

Knocked me out without even touching me.

 

And, yet, you managed to kill me.

 

Right in me

 

Ginger told me that every Scary impact had made her stronger…

 

How is it possible if I am by your side?

 

Do I feel closer to death?

 

I’m not better because YOU will humiliate me.

 

I’m not better because YOU will cancel me.

 

What has made me strong is getting away from YOU.

 

What has made me stronger is getting closer to me.