Daniel Ulibarri

Jerome

I’m sittin’ at a coffee table, unable to see straight

Watchin’ parallel lines unwind and undulate

Behind the rain-streaked windowpane, the scene’s bleak

Another train leavin’ home

Conceding defeat with a low moan.

 

Hangin’ in a sky, made of stone

Everybody’s leavin’ home, I called my man Jerome

To come meet me in the twilight zone

Leave your mobile phone at home and come alone.

 

I bought him coffee and a snack

Settled back, started speakin’

He was tweakin’ with the peak of his cap

While I’m seekin’ to discover what it takes to stay sober

Not cover my mistakes

Try to maybe make sense of the evidence

It’s over, she’s gone for good

Why should I lie, singin’ a killer’s lullaby

Identified by the dying ring of her goodbye

The last thing you hear before your life disappears…

 

Now it just gets worse, like my stomach will burst

Feel like I’ve been cursed

With seven centuries of bitter memories

And inadequacies, previous he’s and she’s

I’m movin’ round this old house for the last time

Scene of my past crimes, been here for lifetimes

Hearin’ the chimes of the old clock that used to mock.

 

You got eternity for takin’ stock.

This place is like a padlock.

You look shocked.

 

Trust me, nothing ever moves but the dust

There’s just us and I’m here to torment and tease

And that’s how it was for centuries

Me and my memories, ’till you brought the keys.

 

Took the couple of Saturdays

I moved in runnin’ from tragedies and boozing.

 

Seven hundred years since I came here

You appear, same hair, same quizzical stare

I couldn’t get near.

 

And the sheer frustration was more than I could bear

I was really cursed, thought I’d been through the worst part

 

That was just the first part, just the start

Every night I’d be sitting with dread, breaking my heart

In case the man she’d been chasin’ gets to first base

And I just can’t escape, I’m in bad shape.

 

You making love to someone else is more than I can take

And so I make all the movement I can to no avail

Scream and yell, sinkin’ deeper into my personal Hell.

 

I’m getting heated, I’m sorry, have another coffee.

I needed to release my sparrow chest

From just a piece of this pressure;

Unless an escape route is found

I’m going down underground

Into lifetimes of pain, it’s absurd:

 

The heaviest chain is contained is the sound of one word

So I’m referred back to Hell, huh?

Just as well, I hate needles and get twinges

At the thought of syringes.

 

J, I’m going insane with shame.

 

I dream and watch her makin’ love over and over again

With what I call a farmer’s swain

Unintelligent, pea-brained retard who’s dick is always hard.

 

Oh God, of course I’m jealous, fellows.

Oversexed flexing his pec’s.

Jesus, what’s he going make her do next?

I’m mad vex, the way she gently scratches his chest.

 

You used to do that to me back in 1253.

Pity me, while you lie with your lover

I stare and suffer in despair while you ruffle his hair.

Unaware of who else is there

I move quick, I want to try my trick one last time

You know it’s possible to vaguely define my outline

When dust moves in the sunshine

So I’m tryin’ to change, vibrate myself to near human pitch.

 

Which reminds me how I used to come unstitched

And switch ’round the house in a blind rage.

 

It took years and an ocean of tears

To find the key to this cage and write another stage into a new age.

 

It’s difficult to gauge

But I know that I’ll see you again, on that you may depend.

 

I just don’t know how or when…

Sleep on, my lost love on gone.

 

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